Almost Poetic · Burn After Reading

Open letter to the last person I’ll ever love

I was always waiting for you to make my heart skip a beat, but you taught my heart to be still. I was waiting for you to sweep me off my feet, but you held your arms open, ready for me to run into them.
You didn’t give me butterflies, but you gave me caterpillars, and it’s been amazing watching them change, with you. It’s been amazing growing with you. Nothing of myself was ready for you, but you were always ready for me. It was easier for me to find you when I found myself.

Thank you for waiting. 

That year when I lost my first love and thought nothing would ever make sense again, thank you for not appearing. Thank you for not trying to save me from drowning in my sorrow, I wouldn’t have called you happiness if you’d showed up then.

Thank you for waiting.

That year when my soulmate met his soulmate and I was lost because I’d thought he was mine, thank you for not appearing. Thank you for not stopping me from running away from everything, I wouldn’t have called you rest if you’d showed up then.

Thank you for waiting.

That night when my lover told me it was over, and I was afraid I’d never let anyone in again, thank you for not appearing. Thank you for not stopping me from building up all these walls around me, I wouldn’t have called you home if you’d showed up then.

Thank you for waiting.

That time I spent my waking days hiding all my pain in journals, when scars were the only proof of my existence, thank you for not showing up. Thank you for not stopping me from bleeding on blank pages, I wouldn’t have called you poetry if you’d showed up then.

Thank you for waiting.

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